“Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher. Vanity of vanities! All [that is done without God’s guidance] is vanity [futile, meaningless—a wisp of smoke, a vapor that vanishes, merely chasing the wind].” (Ecclesiastes 1:2)

Have you ever felt the urge to do something of great significance perhaps life-changing but didn’t out of fear? Fear of the responses and reactions you may have to face but would rather not?

This has been my dilemma since the release of my former husband who lived out six years of his life in prison. I knew God had been working in me for quite some time in preparation for his release. I became well aware of God’s will for me to help others not only heal but to bring them to God for restoration, salvation and renewal of the mind with my story being used to help others find their way back to where I found forgiveness, mercy and unconditional love.

You see, six years ago he was arrested, charged and convicted of rape and molestation. One being my own. While God spared her from getting raped, her innocence was still stripped from her. And we all know how crimes against children often times — more times than not— are followed by cries for castration, the death penalty, even a one-way ticket to hell.

The problem I faced was my difference in opinion. I believed hurting people hurt people. I didn’t wish to see him harmed. I desired to see him healed. However, I didn’t count on God calling me to help him.

But I’m not surprised neither. I am very confident in my knowing God would never send me into battle if He didn’t know I was built for it. This does not imply there aren’t moments when fear catches me off guard giving rise to the ego self. This is when I’m concerned with me. What will my family think/say about me? How would others view me? What will I have to lose in moving forward? Am I willing to sacrifice my family’s approval, respect and or support? Will they believe and accept I’m doing what God called me to do? How would my children feel about me? Every thought was about me, me, me.

During times such as these I say a short prayer of gratitude and guidance, with Bible in hand. Once I’m done praying I lift my trusty manual, place a light kiss on it, then allow it to open itself to me. A practice to have yet to misguide me. So when it opened to today’s verse I knew it was a reminder for me of who I serve. It wasn’t my family, friends, and strangers or even myself but my Heavenly Father who is all-knowing, all-powerful, Omnipresent, and benevolent. Once I am centered in Christ–consciousness I am able to move in faith as I execute the will of God the way Jesus taught me. For it is written what we do to each other we do them on to Jesus.

And with this being my truth I can’t help but do the better I have come to know for myself. Resulting in my becoming realigned with my higher self to do the natural will of God which is to be of service to those I can help despite who I may think they are.

If you’ve found ways to be obedient to the words of God or maybe you are struggling to surrender to the will of God I invite you to share your experiences in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you.

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